To the End
by JJKMagic
Summary: He didn't know why he had been searching for his lover that day. He had simply forgotten it the very moment he had found him and seen what he shouldn't have seen… ZEMYX, XIGDEM. YAOI.


Wow, the first upload that was planned and mentioned in my Upcoming-section... As I said, it's a rather sad Zemyx/XigDem story, Zexion-centered.

I would have to thank _natakuchan01 _and her "Boys don't cry" video on youtube to inspire me to this fic. It's not perfect but it's really emotional if you get into it, so check it out if you have the time.

08-14-2010: Alright, is being a prick again and so I had to change the underlined beginnings of the single parts... but you should still recognize them thanks to the -...- I added instead.

**Warning: Yaoi, a bit of Angst...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts but you know that already, right?

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**To the End**

-He didn't know why he had been searching for his lover that day. He had simply forgotten it the very moment he had found him and seen what he shouldn't have seen…-

The Cloaked Schemer was walking through the corridors of the Castle That Never Was searching for Demyx. Normally it was easy to find him for the music loving nobody was loud and abnoxious, in Zexon's opinion. But not today, today the Melodious Nocturne was nowhere to be found. After he hadn't been in his room, Zexion had nearly checked every room for him, to no avail.

Where could Demyx be?

He was nowhere to be found when Zexion needed him for once! The blond was all but troublesome and the stupid music he played from sunup to sundown was just totally useless and annoying! How could he even have endured the blond for as long as he did?

Zexion sighed.

The slate haired male was about to return to his room when he noticed the door to the meeting room standing open. Normally he wouldn't give a damn about something like this but today's meeting was over since an hour and the room supposed to be empty…

Zexion found himself getting curious…

And regretted it when he saw Demyx standing there, other's hands tangled in his blond locks while his own were buried in duo-colored black hair and he kissed the black haired man passionately.

Zexion's body tensed and suddenly his mouth went dry.

"De… myx?" He uttered, disbelief evident in his voice, as well as shock.

The Nocturne broke the kiss startled as he heard his lover's voice from behind. He turned, the shock written on his face as well.

The Freeshooter was wise enough to leave when Demyx started to hesitantly walk over to Zexion.

"Zexy… you weren't supposed-"

"To see? I already figured that" Zexion interrupted him, mentally cursing the lack of emotion in his voice. He couldn't think clearly at all.

"Zexy…" The dark blond whined, unsure what to do.

"It's okay" He said and it sounded so cold-hearted that it almost scared himself.

"Let's just… just…" The Schemer began to stutter, his usual confidence suddenly vanished.

Why? Why did his body refuse to end the relationship he shared with the other? There was no emotion behind it anyway. He had always just complained about Demyx, why couldn't he just say it?

"Let's just…"

"Break up?"

It hurt. There was this stinging pain in his non-existing heart when he heard it. But he was glad Demyx had said for he himself had been unable to.

Zexion nodded slightly. "Yes"

And that was all. He turned and walked away, hiding the shakiness of his body as he did so. Demyx thought about following him for a moment but he decided against it…

X X X

-He didn't know what was wrong. His whole body was shaking. He just couldn't concentrate on the book he was reading.-

Zexion sat on one of the small couches in front of an equally small table in the library, his usual hide-out, his _sanctuary_ but the silence wouldn't calm him, not this time, not in such a situation, such a totally _foreign _situation for him.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the distracting thoughts and _feelings_ but it only caused the tears, he so desperately tried to hide, to flow freely down his cheeks, dripping onto the pages of his book.

Why? Why did it hurt so much? He didn't need that obnoxious sitar player! He had never needed him!

Demyx had approached him a few month ago, confessing his _love _and Zexion had half-heartedly agreed to be his lover. He didn't really love him, he had never… had he?

It didn't matter. It was over, it was better… for Demyx. He only had to suffer in this relationship with the man he loved but who was always so harsh to him, telling him to shut up, go away and stop his _annoying _music.

Zexion shuddered. Why had he been so heartless? Except for the fact that he didn't really possess a heart...

Demyx had only suffered with him…even this one and _only_ time they had had sex… Demyx had only been suffering, he had always been, clinging to the one he loved with so much hope and so many disappointments...

_Demyx_…

"Zexion!"

Startled he wiped the tears, that were still flowing, off onto his sleeves as he caught sight of Number VIII entering the library.

"What do you want, Axel?" He asked, trying to sound annoyed but there was this hint of sadness in it.

Was his voice shaking?

Axel being Axel ignored the fact that his presence was unwanted and sat down on the couch across the table.

"I need your help" He stated.

Zexion looked at him, barely interested. "What could I actually help you with?"

The redhead crossed his arms and leaned back. "I need to apologize to Roxas"

"Oh" Zexion muttered, thinking about what he could do with the book that had suffered during his sudden emotional breakdown. "And what do I have to do with that?"

The tears should actually dry by themself rather quickly…

"What can I do to make Roxas forgive me?"

He really shouldn't read when he is in such an unpredictable mood in the future…

"And why do you think I'd know that?"

"Demyx always forgives you"

Demyx…

"That's not true! …no, that was just an illusion I couldn't… figure out"

"What are you mumbling about?" The redhead asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"He may have forgiven me… perhaps the first month I ignored him… but after that…" Zexion looked at his hands that were now folded in his lap, shaking slightly.

Right. Demyx might still have been his happy-go-lucky character but he must have noticed… that it didn't made any sense to stay with him any longer. That's why he searched for someone else. He moved on while Zexion hadn't even been able to notice that his lover had changed.

"Did something happen?" Axel asked, looking worried at the smaller male but Zexion didn't see it.

He didn't even care. That was his problem, only his!

"It's nothing"

"You sure?" And in that moment it snapped.

Zexion didn't even know why. His head was blank, except for thoughts of Demyx and what he had done wrong to him and that he didn't even notice and suddenly there was this… _rage_.

"I TOLD YOU, IT'S NOTHING!" He shouted in a sudden outburst of _emotions _and his fists crashed onto the wooden surface of the table in an anger he hadn't known until now.

The wood burst with a loud cracking noise and the redhead's eyes widened in shock and some kind of fear. Zexion didn't even take notice of him. He stood up and left the library wordlessly.

X X X

-The darkness and silence of his room was so welcoming. He was alone, the anger, the sadness, the _devastation_ hidden in his non-existing heart. He was shaking but ignored it. In his room there were only him and his thoughts.-

The slate haired male let himself fall onto his bed, only to sit up again quickly due to something hard pressing painfully into his back. Sitting, he stared at the culprit in annoyance but his face softened when he realized what it was.

A CD cover, along with a small CD-player… everything that was left of his time with Demyx, as it seemed.

And today he listened to the music he would normally call annoying every other day, every other _past _day.

Listening to a rather depressive song he whispered, everything that was on his _heart_, every unanswered question, and his lips followed the flow of the music subconsciously.

"Why does it hurt so much? I don't know, I just don't know…"

X X X

As the Superior, on his way to the top floor, walked past the door with an VI imprinted on it, he wondered what could possess the Cloaked Schemer to emit such sad singing-like whispering when he would utter his disgust for music every time the Melodious Nocturne would play some.

X X X

"Are you kidding me?" Lexaeus asked, staring at a wooden mess that was once a table.

"I'm sure I've heard that question quite often today but no, it _was_ Zexion! And I wouldn't believe it myself if I wouldn't have seen it" Axel replied as the brunette kneeled down to examine the damage closer.

"You going to repair it?"

"Hm… I guess so"

"Do _you _know what happened?"

"What happened?" Lexaeus repeated irritated.

"With Zexion, I mean. He may be emo but I've never seen him that depressed… or angry"

The brunette shrugged, concentrating on what he would have to do to fix that table.

X X X

-Number VI didn't appear to the next Organization's meeting.-

Most of the members didn't even notice, some simply ignored it but Zexion's absence surely didn't pass unnoticed by Xemnas.

"Is there a particular reason for Number VI's strange behavior I should know of?" He asked, his voice threateningly calm.

"What strange behavior might you be referring to, Superior?"

"You can't honestly tell me you didn't hear of the incident with the library table, Saix. Or that you haven't heard this _song_ from VI's room that I can only describe as a _dirge_"

Number II stayed quite, as well as IX who had this guilty expression on his face.

The Superior sighed annoyed. "Let's come to the actual reason for this meeting: Castle Oblivion…"

X X X

-It was late at night when Zexion stood in front of the Melodious Nocturne's room.-

He had just returned from his _private _conversation with the Superior and felt strangely dull, standing there where he should've been a lot more often, instead of waiting, or not even _waiting_, for the Nocturne to come to him.

He entered without knocking, knowing exactly that the blond would still be awake… and hopefully _alone_.

Demyx _was_ alone, suddenly sitting up and staring at him confusedly. "Zexy?"

When he caught sight the blond for the first time since their break-up, his whole body ached, blood rushing painfully fast through it, faster than he could ever remember...

"The Superior talked to me" He said matter-of-factly though it was difficult for his body acted totally opposed to his voice.

"What…?" the sitarist asked, his voice just above a whisper.

"I'm going to Castle Oblivion"

And that would be it. He wouldn't see Demyx for a long time, if not never again.

Demyx's eyes widened, the bad feeling he got whenever they talked about Oblivion as evident as ever. "But why? Why you?"

"Why not me?" It's not like you care about me anymore, he added in thoughts.

"Everyone could go there, instead of you!" The blond replied agitated.

"So… would you prefer Xigbar would go?" He asked and knew that it was probably pretty mean.

He didn't get an answer. So that really was it. He was afraid something might happen to the one he cares about… but why wouldn't he want him to go then? There was nothing between them anymore, was there?

Demyx looked down, perhaps embarrassed, perhaps guilty. Zexion didn't seem able to read this blond at all or else he would've noticed what he was unable to see until now. Demyx was _beautiful _in a way that was hard to describe and Zexion immediately missed the happy expression on his face he had seen so often… but that seemed to have been so long ago. He wanted to see him smile again...

But there… was nothing between them anymore and it hurt. It was a constant pain in his body since the very second he had seen them, Demyx and his new lover, his _better _lover. Someone who would rather care of him than to ignore him, to hurt him.

And now Zexion realized, he would do everything to be that lover, to make it up to Demyx but he knew there was nothing he could do. He had been to cold, had hurt the blond to much to even expect forgiveness. But there was no good, no _use_, in crying either. It wouldn't change anything.

It was over, simply over…

"Demyx…"

The blond looked up as a cold hand touched his cheek and he stared right into those deep blue eyes he fell in love with a long time ago when their lips met. And Zexion kissed him like he had never kissed him before, pressing his body as close to him as he could.

He had never been that desperate before. He knew that this was it, the end, this was all he would get before it would be forever over. Just reluctantly he let the blond go and Demyx's eyes immediately found the ground again.

"Zexy…"

Still this nickname… was it a habit he couldn't get rid off?

"Go" The small nobody said.

Demyx looked at him confused, his oceanic blue orbs asking "What?"

"Xigbar is waiting for you" He didn't say anything else, neither did the blond.

He walked away, leaving Zexion alone in his lover's, _ex-lover's_, room with the silence killing him.

It would be his last time here...

It had cost a lot for Zexion to even talk to Xigbar but now he was at least sure that he would take care of his blond.

He looked around the room feeling dull.

It really was his last time here.

A single tear fell to the floor as darkness surrounded him and brought him back to his own room, escaping the silence he actually couldn't escape ever again…

X X X

-It was one of his last thoughts, images of a smiling blond flashing through his mind: 'He had loved him... truly loved him'-

Why had he realized it too late, why didn't he understand it? Having no heart didn't matter. Lacking it didn't mean emotionlessness.

It couldn't be because... why would it hurt like that?

'Demyx...': One of his last thoughts as merciless hands of a mere replica closed around his throat… A replica, a being _truly _lacking own emotions...

And a slate haired shadow slumped to the ground, only thinking that: 'He had truly love him…

To the end'

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That's it... poor Zexy dead... but somehow every Zexy fan has to get used to that fact, right? *sniff*

**Please review and even if you just do it to complain about me letting Zexion die... again.**


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